For the first time in years, I don’t know what I want. It’s both exciting and terrifying. This is exactly where I need to be right now, and I am open to all possibilities.
The good thing is I don’t have to decide today, or tomorrow. Whatever comes my way, I’m ready.
Years 2013-2016 we’re the most exciting years of my professional life. Learning new things and gaining experience I was so excited to walk into work every day. I think I’m ready for the next chapter and to relive the excitement. I’m open to all possibilities that come my way.
I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog for nearly a year. I’ve been thinking about where I was then, where I am now, and where I could possibly be a year from now; that’s exciting. Only time will tell.
I am ready for my next adventure.
I had an excellent (and super tough) workout yesterday. I so needed it and for the first time in two days I wasn’t thinking about work. Just the workout I front of me. It was so hard, but it was awesome! And boy am I paying for it today, and have a few bruises to prove it. Why do I have so many stairs in my house??
I know that the weeks I plan ahead I ALWAYS do better than the weeks I don’t. As I was pouring over my past blogs tonight tucked into my blanket relaxing on the couch in the quiet, I booked my two workouts at CrossFit this week and booked my “appointments” for myself on the days I need to run. It’s the only way I can make time to fit it all in. I am really closing in on this race – I’m scared to death quite frankly. I know I can’t run the entire race. There’s only a few weeks left, I am going to do my very best and hopefully the adrenaline that morning will push me past my mental limitations.
My race is at the tail end of Spring break so I am working some fun for the kids into the entire experience. We’re all quite excited to be near the beach!
For months, my oldest had been working hard participating in her first middle school play. I am so incredibly proud of her for even entertaining the idea (you never would’ve caught me on stage…see previous posts!). She loved it! It was such a surreal experience watching her on stage and enjoying it. As I sat there I couldn’t help but think back to my tiny little girl and wonder how time has gone by this fast and all of a sudden I have this young lady in front of me (and stealing my makeup!).
I revisit the baby vs young lady scenario all the time, between the 18-month-old and a ten-and-a-half-year-old; both my mini me. We are so in trouble!
One phrase I constantly say to myself (and my closest friends); “I need to get my shit together”. And, I seriously do. I have this constant battle with myself, I’m failing as a mom.
How are all these moms around me so put together? Why am I always the one behind on everything? Why do I always seem to be the only one who didn’t see the email for X event? One day at a time. And you know what? I can’t compare myself to any other mom. We’re all in this together, I’m just jealous you were able to shower, get dressed, AND where makeup all in the same day.
Actually (he’ll love me for saying this – I love you honey), in typical evening banter, I suggested the hubs spend a day in my shoes and see how he fairs. I think we fall into the roles we have because we’re better at certain functions then the other partner. I handle mornings (which is for the birds because I am not a morning person), which is a feat in itself – am I right? But it’s all the other shit that gets me and I’m pretty sure he never knows exists. We rehash the same argument over and over again.
You know, the night before a night project is due, I get a call (while making dinner, baby screaming, dog stealing baby’s pacifier, big kids fighting) asking if I got the poster board for said project. How can I not be annoyed? In the moment, I’ve lost all patience and think how could he ask me that? He must think I’m a shitty mom too, but in reality, he’s just trying to help; and here I bite his head off. Gotta work on that.
Anddddd on that note, I should go to bed.