I woke up early and got to see the sunrise this morning. Every time I get to witness something so majestic as the sunrise over the ocean, I’m in awe. It kind of puts things in perspective for me. I let the little things get in the way sometimes and need a reminder to get back to the good.

A little disclaimer – I started writing this blog eight days ago. I write a little, then come back to it. Right now, this is my life. Doesn’t feel like I have a chance to breathe. When I’m in the zone, I’m in the zone. When I’m not, I’m just not. There’s no amount of faking it that will get me back there.
I think it’s important to talk about things that make people awkward and uncomfortable.

My Inner Struggle – Holds new definition every day. Work life/mom balance, taking time for yourself, getting healthy and fit and finding (and keeping) happiness. It’s morphed into this window into my soul; and right now, I’m okay with that.

 

This was an outlet of sorts, it was a motivational tool I used to help me move forward by motivating others, helping people makes me happy. I don’t have all the resources for grand gestures; but you have me.

 

 

I’m on a family vacation and certainly could not have asked for better weather. I’m on the cusp of some major changes and so needed this pause to spend time with my kids and relax. I’m writing to you from the pool(presently); here’s to not spilling my drink or dropping my phone in the water! I’m floating away in the pool, all alone and its pure bliss. I think as a mom, those moments that you catch alone are worth more than anything (to me anyway, maybe I’m selfish).

 

 

 

So, if you follow My Inner Struggle on fb I recently shared an article found here:

http://www.scarymommy.com/mom-bod-swimsuit/?utm_source=FB&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook

 

I love the article and I love the message it sends. I think I’ve finally reached this point (within reason). This was the first vacation in a really long time I didn’t spend the entire time self-conscious and trying to cover up. I did catch a glimpse of myself in a picture and didn’t appreciate what I saw, but I can only chalk it up to I’m a work in progress. I accept where I am in this journey and I was happy to be playing with my kids in the water making memories.

 

 

Full disclosure I’m ready – I’ve finally arrived, full circle. Post baby in 2015 I had lost all baby weight, fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans and all within weeks of having Evelyn. Fast forward…she’s almost two and I’ve managed to gain enough weight that my jeans don’t fit. I was mad at myself getting to where I am now; but no weight loss journey is without its ups and downs and I’ve accepted the fact that I am where I am. I can only move forward. Have fun. It’s called balance.

 

 

It’s kind of funny, I hit that “holy shit I am ready to hit the ground running” moment, a few days before we left for our trip. I lost four pounds the week prior and just felt “ready”. I completed a six-week nutrition challenge, not far from where I started. I’m a chronic over thinker, and I became overwhelmed by the complexity of counting macros. However, it got me back into actually tracking daily and being more aware. I think I was meandering aimlessly for months, and didn’t even realize it.

So with changes approaching fast ahead, I’m taking this one day at a time.
It’s sounds cliche but, I feel so lucky to be their mom. I really don’t want this week to end, I’ve had so much fun with them.

They make me a better person. ❤️

Off to enjoy our last beach day.
XO

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