If I may, I’m going to build on my last blog (if you haven’t read it, dial back here).
It’s amazing how much getting out of my space has given me a new perspective. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to venture away from home base, and I was nervous, let me tell you. It was spontaneous and totally, last minute but I pulled it together – booked a flight and jumped on a plane just five days later. It was truly the adventure of a lifetime.
The morning I left, my palms were sweating and my heart was pounding out of my chest while I waited for my ride to the airport. Like I said, it’s been a minute since I’ve flown alone, and to uncharted territory. I found myself wondering WHY I was so nervous.
I mention it in my book, and many blogs before…I love the idea of going away somewhere and coming back different.
As if I could simply step out of my comfort zone, if only for a few minutes and when I re-enter, I have newfound energy, purpose, and perspective.
This trip has honestly been one of the best trips (if not THE BEST) in my life (so far). Nothing fancy. Just open road, car snacks, music, and time to think. Oh, and vast spaces so big I’ve never even imagined!
It was truly a testament to how very small we are in this world. At any given moment, there are a million things going on around you. You’re living your daily life in your bubble…driving to and from work, picking up the kids, making dinner, and the weekends are meant to “recharge”.
Except that the endless lists of things we need to accomplish continues to grow by the day. We spend our weekends carting kids to practice, grocery shopping, cleaning our spaces and then preparing for a new week ahead. I’m no stranger to this and often, I am sitting here right alongside motivating you to make the most of your time.
My mission: to live more. I always hated the fact that I was “living for the weekend”. Spending my weeks counting the days until I didn’t have to go to work. I have been cultivating a life I don’t feel the need to escape from…because for a really long time, I did.
This adventure was the first of…many. While I’ve been building my business(s), the last two years I haven’t been able to get away the way I had been dreaming about. I was feeling a little closed in, but manifesting travel every day. Envisioning it, talking about it, and when the opportunity presented itself, I said “fuck it, let’s do it”.
The time is now.
One of the most striking realizations I had on this trip was how often I’ve let the idea of “needing to have everything figured out” hold me back. We’re constantly pressured to have a plan, to know exactly what comes next. But what if the beauty of life comes from allowing the unknown to unfold, from embracing the messiness?
As I drove through unfamiliar landscapes, I found myself thinking about how many times I’ve been afraid of uncertainty—how many times I’ve held back from acting, waiting for the perfect moment to arrive. But sometimes, it’s the imperfections, the spontaneity, and even the fear that leads us to the most incredible moments of our lives.
After days of driving and contemplation, I realized that in my story… this new birth after divorce led me to places, I had really never been before. Why did I feel confident going out on my own when I was married (a long car ride, a restaurant alone, the list goes on) – but after I was “on my own” it took some DEEP WORK to get up the nerve to make those moves, and in a constant state of anxiety.
Was it because I didn’t have back up? If something happened, who would I even call if I just needed emotional support? I think there’s a huge difference between “being independent” and “being independent in survival mode.”
If you haven’t read my book yet – “Is It An Open Bar?”, I had basically been in survival mode since I was around eight years old. When you “do the work”, it really takes you places. It feels really fucking good on the other side, let me tell you.
As I navigated new terrain, both physically and emotionally, I couldn’t help but reflect on how much I’ve changed over the years. There was a time when I couldn’t fathom traveling alone, being alone, or doing anything on my own without feeling completely isolated or overwhelmed. Now, I see the power in that solitude. It’s in those moments when we’re alone, whether physically or emotionally, that we often learn the most about ourselves. The way we handle life’s challenges, the way we respond to discomfort, and the way we continue to move forward, even when everything inside of us is screaming to retreat.
I can’t really explain it in any more words than above, you have to experience it.
As I’m sitting on my flight back to the real world and all I’ve created in it, I plug in my earphones and scroll through the movie options, too tired to read my book now.
“My Old Ass” comes up under the comedy section – a girl gets in touch with her 39 year old self while tripping on mushrooms; right up my alley.
I was grateful to find something to absorb nearly 2 of the 5-hour flight from LA to Newark. It didn’t take long to become sucked in by the evolving relationship the main character navigated with herself. (By now, you know I’m a total sucker for a good personal growth story).
In its purest form, life is about taking risks, knowing very well it might hurt (and most likely will). That our experiences mold us into who and what we are. That we can choose to move forward in fear, but brave enough to experience it.
Or we can stay stuck.
Is the desire to love greater than the fear of being hurt?
This trip has been another deep dive in self-exploration. The thought of moving on to the next step, opening my heart again to love and finding myself in tears while I’m flying above the clouds. Damn movie! (I highly recommend it though, it was seriously good!).
This is a new beginning for me. I have the advantage of watching myself, have you ever observed yourself in action?
What about your desire to love yourself? To unlock yourself from the fear and anxiety of everything around you? To stop being so jealous and angry of everyone around you accomplishing things while you’re sitting on the sidelines watching. Judging – because you’re too afraid to look at yourself in the mirror.
You’re missing it. Stop missing it!
A Question for You: What would it look like for you if you allowed yourself to step outside of your comfort zone—if you took one small risk, just for yourself? It doesn’t have to be anything grand, just a step in the direction of breaking free from the patterns and the fears that have been holding you back. What would you gain if you did?
My goal: To let love in. To feel safe and “freedom” all at the same time.
Xo,
Laura
