Fertile ground
Fear is one of those things that really holds us back – and I think most of the time we don’t even realize it.
What stops us from jumping out of a perfectly good plane? I mean…it’s not my jam, but for a lot it is.
What stops us from telling the person we see every day that we love them more than they could ever realize? And we continue to see them day after day with this hidden secret stuck inside.
What stops us from taking that first step and pitching our business idea?
Fear of failure.
Fear of rejection.
Yet, we’re sometimes continually rejected by people every day and we think nothing of it. We are so used to it that we don’t even know it’s happening anymore – we just accept it for what it is.
So, what if we flipped that script?
What IF you took that leap in yourself and shared your marketing idea?
What IF you took that chance and told—
And that’s when I realized: these questions aren’t abstract. They’re the exact ones I’ve been living inside.
I find myself asking why a lot.
Why does it have to feel like this?
Why did I have to go through this?
Why does everything always feel like I’m doing it the hard way?
It’s taken me a long time to understand that God removes from our life what doesn’t belong…and once you have your footing the right things start to creep in.
But not all at once — slowly, over time, so that you don’t lose what you fought so hard to build.
So that you don’t lose yourself in something else.
So that you remain who you are meant to be, while building the life you really wanted.
And with that lens, suddenly all those “why’s” become softer. They become part of the path instead of punishment.
I’m sitting on fertile ground RIGHT NOW actually. As I sit at my desk on a cloudy Monday morning, I light a candle and sage with intention. There’s this quiet awareness that something is shifting.
My card: The Hermit.
How the fuck is it always right?
I took a step back from one of my avenues to make room for the next thing. I can’t maintain “all the things” while creating something new. Something in better alignment. I’m manifesting my future right now, regardless of my circumstances.
Not even two months ago I took an intentional pause on my podcast. That intentional pause launched me into new action, instead of inaction and survival mode. It was like giving myself permission created the space I needed to actually move.
So now, I take another intentional pause in another direction. The hermit coming up today – is a moment of integration. Clarity first, then expansion.
It’s that gentle reminder that before I run toward the next thing, I have to hear myself again.
I’m quieting my external energy – fewer interruptions. I’m not kidding when I say the last few weeks have been insane, a lot of conversations and it’s time to re-center.
Less texts. Less calls. Less scrolling.
Leaning into practices that help me listen to my intuition clearly. More journaling. More walking. Pulling my card without expectation. No agenda. Sitting in silence to make room for what is calling me next.
Where am I being called to lead myself before I lead anyone else?
It’s a Monday morning and I’ve got my phone on silent as I move through my emotions. As the sparks pour from my fingers. Passion. Pleasure. All the “what If’s?”.
The hermit reminds me that my light isn’t meant to be dimmed – it’s meant to be recharged.
Here I sit on fertile ground. Planting more seeds for a secure future for myself, my well being, my children, and the universe.
When I pause, I grow.
And the truth is — I’ve done this before.
I am so damn proud of myself. Not too long ago in the distance I couldn’t afford anything. I didn’t know what I was going to do day to day. I didn’t have enough money to buy food to feed my children, heat my house, buy a car. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning to face what I was facing. To say it was hard is an understatement.
Eventually, I would muster up the strength to put my feet on the ground and take one step forward.
That’s it, just one step forward each day.
Those steps add up. They always do.
I’m turning 44 this month. The number doesn’t matter so much as to where I am going. When things got scary so many times over I continually posed the question “am I on the right path” – and each time the answer was always “yes”.
How could so much heartbreak and heaviness be the right path? I had to learn to trust myself, and my own momentum.
I think often the right path does feel messy, uncertain, and uncomfortable – until we know or realize what we need to release to move forward.
For a long time I was looking for the answers – the thing is, the answer surfaces when you stop looking. I’ve had things set in motion, it was trusting my own momentum. It was trusting that everything happens in its own divine timing – and I literally have no control over any of it.
That was a scary thought for me for a long time. In fact, a thought I completely disregarded for even longer. We’re constantly balancing opposing forces – discipline and faith, action and trust. The tricky part is learning to lead with both.
Whether it’s your business, your life, your goal – the discipline of showing up, doing the work, and keeping those promises to yourself; AND the faith that what you’re building is supported, and that the money and opportunities will meet your effort.
Fear can take a hike, I’m the one leading this mission.
And if that wasn’t loud enough, the universe doubled down:
“You are not being tested — you are being trained.”
“Every challenge is strengthening your ability to lead, direct, and hold energy for what’s next.”
The Chariot often arrives when you’re about to level up, both spiritually and practically.
This isn’t about survival anymore — it’s about steering your own destiny.
XO,
Laura
