Hello loves!
Are you ready for a data dump – I’ve got a lot.
Just five years ago, I don’t think I imagined having my ex-husband and his wife over for family dinner, but here we are. I didn’t quite picture this family dynamic, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I am beyond grateful.
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A big lesson I learned about love and partnership recently is that the right person will never be the one who rejects me for being me.
Once someone is comfortable, that’s when the real-ness of the relationship begins on both parts (this also applies to other types of relationships too).
We settle in, get comfortable with the person we fell in love with and can sometimes fall into a pattern of not appreciating why we fell in love in the first place. We overlook all the great qualities they bring to the table.
Sometimes, they can get really mean. And all those words hurt. And sometimes you take on a lot of them (even if you try your hardest not to).
We saw it done around us; the gut instinct didn’t feel good – but they would never do it to us, right?
All of that “stuff” triggered some major sadness, not feeling good enough, and then finally – growth.
Pain teaches us the hardest lessons.
It’s kind of ironic that when you are going through the mud, life is still happening all around you. You might not notice until you’ve reached the other side.
I felt stuck. I was waiting. I spent too long in that “waiting space” because I was told “I’m working on myself and I want to be with you, I’m getting better.” I was hearing all the right words, but the actions never matched – after he got comfortable. I felt disposable, and unimportant. All the words, kept me in that waiting space, only to be hurt in the end.
It still hurts, and I don’t understand, and will probably never have truthful answers, but I’ve learned a lot about myself.
I’ve learned beyond a doubt – your nervous system will naturally feel calm around people with pure intentions and authentic energy – trust it.
There are no amount of tools that well help guide you through anxiety with a partner who isn’t giving you what you need. It cannot be up to one person in the relationship to manage the feelings of the actions of the other person. Not only does it just not work, that’s a one sided relationship, and that isn’t fair. Don’t waste your time.
Eventually, it’ll hurt less, and the tears will dry.
Dating isn’t my jam, I just want to feel at home with someone, like I did – but with someone who loves me for ME.
Someone I can grow together with. You water me – I water you.
My goal is to not lose myself in my next relationship, and remain myself, not dim my light for someone else. I am becoming the person I always wanted to be.
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Julie and I recorded a great podcast about making decisions. I’ve been faced with my fair share of decision making (as we all have) – but know some of my clients struggle with this the most.
Be sure to check it out!
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We can’t be ALL hustle – it’s about finding balance!
I am so grateful this week that my calendar is a little lighter…and I can do some re-adjusting to my new normal.
We all need that to stay on target, discover new possibilities.
Continual growth is a crucial part of life. I am learning how to be a better person, and coach – every single day.
I have made my fair share of mistakes, in love and in life. Said things while in survival mode (in both situations) when I wasn’t getting what I needed from the relationship.
We keep failing forward through those lessons until we level up to the next person we have become – only we have all that experience to back it up, to share, to help others.
We need sleep.
We need fun.
We need something to look forward to, other than work.
We need passion.
We need that outlet, that release where we can just…let go.
We need to live all that…” life”.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a nap, or taking a day off, or saying no to someone.
Don’t be afraid to slow down to figure out what it is you want.
Sit still in the silence that is, focus inward.
Be an active participant in your own life.
Develop ideas.
Try new things.
Love.
Don’t make decisions out of fear or comfortability – there are reasons we chose to move forward in the first place.
The worst decision you can make is to go back to a place that you grew out of, there was a reason you did.
You need to hang out with the people who fit your future, not your history. Hang out with people who inspire you and force you to level up.
I am so grateful for all the new connections I have made, and the level of conversations I’m having, to fuel my own growth.
I am grateful for everything I am learning, which leads me to do more good work.
I am grateful for the inspiration as I level up.
You must take a risk, or you will be doing the same shit, for the rest of your life.
Sending you SO MUCH love!
xo,
Laura
