You are in charge of your own happiness. Only you.
In the last few weeks in the podcast, Julie and I have talked a lot about taking responsibility for yourself and navigating into new beginnings.
One of the things that was a struggle for me in the beginning of my journey (and sometimes in between) is figuring out exactly what it is I wanted. You know there is “something” you need in order to feel fulfilled, but can’t really pinpoint what it is.
I strongly encourage you to listen to the podcast and use that as your starting point.
I had worked with coaches in the past that would tell me to just “get clear” but I had a hard time with that when a million thoughts are running through my head. It was a slow start for me.
Over time I figured out how to clear my mind – but I would associate that to learning a new skill, it’s really no different.
Remember when you were young and learning to ride a bike without training wheels? It was tough, you were very wobbly, probably fell over a few times but you kept practicing. Eventually you got it…and then it became just a normal thing you did or do.
Connecting with yourself, meditation, mindfulness – are all no different. Just keep practicing.
Shut down the world around you, and focus on your breath, go for a run, take a bike ride, sit in silence. See what surfaces.
Once you have some free space, pay attention to what you are attracted to. When you open your mind and body to possibility – the options are endless.
Did I think I’d venture outside my comfort zone and try pole dancing classes a decade ago? I dreamt of freedom (from myself), and through practice, and trying new things, I found it.
Did I think I’d be sitting with my kiddos and all the extra friends who come to hang out here at my kitchen table on a Sunday morning? Not exactly. I certainly did not grow up like that – but I love this. I love being a safe space. I love that my kids chose to be here.
A few weeks ago my ex-husband’s wife sent me a text message (which I mentioned in my previous blog, but still relevant):
“Emily is an entirely different person lately. I am assuming less stress. But she has totally come out of her shell over here. She looks HAPPY which makes her look every more pretty and pleasant. She is smiling a lot more. I think it also has to do with you being so accepting of having an open parenting relationship. Have a secure, confident mom makes all the difference. If you didn’t like me, the kids wouldn’t. They all seem to be more comfortable after we all hangout together. So thank you for showing them we can all be a team.”
Full disclosure, I cried when I read it (it’s my superpower). Why am I even mentioning it? Because I like to lead by example – I am stepping so far out of my comfort zone, I have always dreamed of all these things and every day it’s both scary AND exciting.
Five years ago as my marriage had ended and I embarked on my new life, I sent my ex husband a picture I saw online of a family – kids in the middle, a man and a woman on one side and another man and woman on the other side; and I said I want this for us. At the time, he said he did too, but he would not be there for a while.
I think we made it (still taking applications for my partner!), but how cool is that? We set the intention nearly five years ago – and I know without everything I’ve been through, I wouldn’t be who I am today, and that includes letting go of a lot of bullshit.
I get a lot of comments from friends, family, people I meet who read, listen, and follow – all marvel at the amazing co-parenting relationship we have created and how “good it is for the kids” – but I assure you, I am the one benefiting.
Yes, the kids kind of love it – we spent the entire afternoon and evening together last night celebrating our graduate and laughed until our faces hurt.
The three of us collectively, have put aside our own bullshit to relish in the love that surrounds us. I am genuinely happy they found each other, and the only feeling I have is the excitement that my best friend is waiting around a corner somewhere, doing their own work, until we meet and merge together.
Possibility is a beautiful thing – and the only thing standing in the way, my friend, is YOU.
August is going to be a magical month FILLED with new opportunities for all of us (I know I skipped July), but there are so many positive things I’ve been working on that will be making their debut in the month of August, both scary – AND exciting! Stay tuned, and join the Facebook community so you don’t miss anything!
Sending you SO MUCH LOVE!
Xo,
Laura
