I’m having a moment.
Could be PMS, could be something I need to unpack with my therapist — it’s anyone’s guess.
This is a very real, honest post – I almost didn’t want to share it, but I think that would be wrong not to.
I mean, you’ve been with me through… everything.
Do you ever wake up and just want to crawl out of your own skin?
Here we are — with all the abundance around me — and I’m struggling today, big time.
I don’t know why it’s all surfacing (most likely, PMS), but it’s loud. And heavy. And very much here.
I’ve got this overwhelming feeling around me — I have so much fucking responsibility and I’m feeling SUPER resentful.
At whom? Basically, anything in my house that requires my attention. People. Animals. My appliances. (Looking at you, LG washer with the mysterious error code.)
I tried going for a walk. I worked in the garage (which probably didn’t help the mood — BUT I got rid of a bunch of stuff I needed to offload! Why is rage cleaning the best cleaning?!)
Still… the fog stayed. The tension stayed.
And honestly? That’s what I want to talk about.
Because I think a lot of people look at coaches, therapists, or just people they admire in general and assume they’re beyond these feelings.
Like they must really have their shit together.
Like nothing gets to them anymore.
But let me tell you something: that’s bullshit.
I had this coach once (xo Shell), who showed up at the gym and threw her headphones in and was abusing the elliptical in the best way.
People she knew kept coming up to her to chat. Some took the hint. Others didn’t.
Eventually, she took her headphones out and said to one of them:
“Hey, it’s great seeing you — but right now I want to murder my husband and children because they don’t appreciate me at all. I’m tired of doing every fucking thing at home and I really need to take it out here at the gym before it becomes a reality.”
I had a whole newfound respect for her that day.
Because that’s real.
That’s what it means to be human.
That’s what it means to tell the truth.
I’ve been there.
I’m sure you’ve been there.
Today it had very little to do with people, other than the fact that 2/3 of my kids really do not care about the condition of their rooms. (I shut their doors. Victory.)
Today, I was trying so hard to channel my “go get it” attitude.
But it never surfaced.
As the day progressed, I used every tool I have, to try and get out of it…
but it just was. Overwhelmed by the endless list of things that need to be fixed, addressed, or managed in my house. The thought starts there, weight heavy and then snowballs.
Shit I can’t reach, can’t lift, and don’t know how to fix.
And maybe that’s the lesson today.
Sometimes the work isn’t to fix it.
It’s just to feel it.
To name it.
To not apologize for it.
To let the moment be what it is — without making it mean something about who you are.
We need rest.
We need to reset.
We need to feel the feels.
And sometimes we just need to eat a good meal and watch a movie on the deck and call that our healing for the day.
So that’s what I’m doing.
And if you’re in a mood, a fog, a funk — I hope you do whatever your version of that looks like too.
You don’t need to justify your exhaustion.
You don’t need to hustle your way out of your humanity.
You just need to come home to yourself.
And let that be enough for today.
XO,
Laura
