Ya Gotta Be — When You Least Expect It
An ode to growth, grit, and a few voices I’ll never forget.
There’s this phrase that’s been following me around again lately.
“When you least expect it.”
It was something my childhood best friend’s dad used to say—kind of joking, kind of cynical. Usually directed at our older siblings when they were being extra teenagery. He’d smirk and say it like a warning… payback’s coming, when you least expect it.
It was funny at the time—sarcastic, dry, and so very adult-sounding. I haven’t heard it from his mouth in decades, but the phrase has never really left me. And weirdly, it came back to me recently… in the middle of all the things I’ve been doing, building, reaching for.
It came back like a whisper, and I could practically hear his voice.
Except this time, it wasn’t a warning. It was something else entirely.
We are constantly planting seeds—in our work, in our relationships, in ourselves.
Sometimes we forget how much we’ve already planted. We forget how much intention we’ve poured into the things we care about. And let’s be honest—some days it feels like nothing is happening. Like we’re showing up, doing the work, and the ground is still just… dirt.
But here’s the thing.
Growth doesn’t always look like progress.
Just because we can’t see the change doesn’t mean it’s not happening. The roots are growing—quietly, deeply—creating the foundation we need to sustain everything we’re building.
We reach toward the light, just a little more each day. (And yes, I’ve fully become the plant in this metaphor.) We keep stretching. Even when it feels slow. Even when it feels pointless.
And then, when you least expect it—you emerge.
Suddenly, all those little things you’ve been nurturing start to show. The signs appear. The opportunities open up. The people come in. It’s not magic. It’s momentum. It’s the result of everything you kept showing up for, even when you didn’t know if it would work out.
But you don’t stop there. You can’t. You keep tending to those roots. Keep reaching. Keep blooming. And when you wilt a little, or lose a leaf? That’s just part of it. Growth doesn’t mean you never stumble. It just means you keep going.
I’ve felt like I’ve been planting seeds forever. Quietly. Behind the scenes. Waiting. Hoping. Wondering.
But the last few weeks? Signs. So many signs. All nudging me: Keep going. You’re not crazy. You’re not lost. You’re just in the middle of the unfolding.
And in the middle of that unfolding came a memory of my dad.
If you’ve read my book “Is It An Open Bar?”—you already know how much he means to me. He’s everywhere for me. Especially when I’m working in the yard this time of year, trying to will spring into being. Every bit of sunshine, every bloom, every stubborn weed—I think of him.
And every time I hear “Ya Gotta Be” by Des’ree, I’m back in his car.
We’re driving those winding Sussex County roads in the 90s. Windows down. Radio up. I couldn’t tell you how old I was, but I remember the moment so clearly.
He turned to me, smiling, and said:
“I really like this song.”
That was it. So simple. So him. And instead of singing, I just listened. I let the lyrics wash over me. I didn’t know it then, but those words would stay with me for life.
Ya gotta be bad, ya gotta be bold, ya gotta be wiser…
Ya gotta be hard, ya gotta be tough, ya gotta be stronger…
To this day, I hold that visual in my heart. And lately, it’s been rising back to the surface like one of those deeply rooted seeds. Reminding me:
There’s so much bullshit in life.
Disappointment. Detours. The stuff that makes you want to curl up and disappear. But I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned is this:
Don’t let the bullshit overshadow everything else.
Don’t fall apart at the first sign of hard.
Take your moment—you’re allowed.
But then… get back up. Keep fucking going.
Because…
When you least expect it…
The things you’ve been working for will start coming together.
The dots will connect.
The right people will show up.
The path will make sense.
And it will be better than you ever imagined.
Keep showing up. Keep watering your roots. Keep reaching.
Even if no one sees it yet.
Especially if no one sees it yet.
Because ya gotta be bad, ya gotta be bold, ya gotta be wiser…
And one day—when you least expect it—you’ll bloom.
And this week? One of those full-circle moments hit me right in the heart.
I received the Sussex County Chamber of Commerce’s “Healthy Living Award” for 2025 — for the work I’ve been doing to support mental health in our community.
From building The Self Love Club, to holding space for people in their darkest moments, to helping them find their way back to themselves… this recognition means more than I can explain.
It’s not just about me. It’s about us — every person who’s been brave enough to do the work, to ask for help, to show up. Every small shift. Every breakthrough. Every climb out of a dark place. This award is a reflection of all of it.
I didn’t expect it. Truly. But it was one of those moments that whispered:
“See? You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.”
And honestly? The most special part was telling my kids.
(I’m including a screenshot below because I want to remember their faces, their reactions, forever. Their mom won. And that matters.)
Sending you SO MUCH LOVE!
Xo,
Laura
P.S. if you want to work with me one on one, join The Self Love Club – or subscribe to my newsletter – you can find it all at myinnerstruggle.com
