I’m constantly saying I need to get my shit together. How about giving it a break and being grateful for what I do get done? With the list of things, we all have going everyday there are going to be days, or weeks, or months that it all just doesn’t happen. I’m not pushing anything, I’m confident that things will work out the way they are supposed to.
So, I had to go to the doctor Friday. I knew the results from the scale weren’t going to be good, and it was confirmed. I’m embarrassed or maybe not (because I’m clearly not the only one this happens to) I’ve gained. My Dr. comes in, and we chat, she’s looking over my chart and she goes “Laura, what happened?” Yeah…I said I’ve been struggling. She goes “what about your blog?!” Ha. Yeah…I told her just that, I’m struggling, I don’t feel in control. I’ve been through a few stressful weeks at home, and I’m clearly an emotional eater…plus I love food, so there’s that. I must accept this (and have) and move forward.
I mentioned my struggles with Amy, we talk often so she knows what goes on anyhow. Why am I not working out the past few weeks and eating terribly? Amy asked me, will skinny = happiness, no. No, it won’t. The skinny girl can struggle just as much as I do.
Let’s face it, we all love certain parts of our bodies more than others. My challenge is loving my whole self. Amy mentioned a suggestion; look at yourself in the mirror, naked (ugh) every day for thirty days. Appreciate where your body has gotten you, the past struggles and what you’ve overcome. Tell yourself you love it just the way you are, every single inch. This proves to be difficult.
I cannot and will not compare myself to others (I really, really struggle with this on a daily basis). I am who I am. I can’t make other people let me feel inadequate, or question my own self-worth. I know I’m not alone, even just from the comments/texts/emails I receive.
I’m still listening to my sessions with Amy every day. Just ten minutes to myself, to let go, relax and recharge. It really has changed my mindset. I find myself not participating in the same behaviors I was just a few weeks ago. Just like losing the weight, it all takes practice. One day at a time.
Every day you have a chance to start over, write your own story, be whoever you want to be. Today I choose to be a strong, sexy, confident, badass.