I had a really weird dream last night, and actually, a few nights this week – but let’s talk about last night.
My sister and I were driving in a car to go watch a field hockey game at a private school…only when we pulled up the school resembled this castle from a movie (one of my childhood favorites), and as we pulled in, I could see the team needed help.
In the next “clip” I can remember, I was on the field with my stick from when I was maybe 9 years old. I actually still have it – why this still exists in my house, but my cabbage patches don’t, is beyond me and I should look into that further.
When I was pulling up the field looked so smooth and flat, each blade of grass seemingly so short and tight together – made specifically for the field hockey ball to cruise across the field effortlessly.
What I encountered was completely different. There were rough patches and every time I went to hit the ball my stick was getting stuck on tufts of grass, surrounded by dirt patches – proof that perception is not always reality.
I don’t remember anything else about my dream, that was the main thought and when I woke up I felt frustrated a little and then laughed at the fact that I could remember every detail about my damn field hockey stick – and it’s really cool colors.
Did I think I was going to step into the game and win it for everyone? No, I was never that great of a player – but I had heart. (do you even know me?)
It’s OKAY to fail – and actually NECCESARY to try things, and they don’t work out…it’s literally how we SUCCEED!
It’s better to take the leap and make a decision and TRY than it is to just waiver. Where do we get when we waver? We literally go nowhere. We sit there in analysis paralysis and get NOWHERE.
Lesson learned, and now we do better. But I kind of hate even saying that it’s a failure. I guess it depends on the language you’re used to using.
Are you a pessimistic person? Do you really see the glass as half empty, or are you just pissed off because everyone around you is making a change and you’re still sitting in the same spot?
We, FAIL FORWARD.
Think about it.
We miss opportunities.
We miss 100% of the chances we don’t take.
I wrestled with a decision this week – whether or not to keep my office nearby.
Did I queue up the overthinking? Maybe a little…but did I make a pro and con list? You fucking bet I did!
And you know what? When it’s sitting there in black and white (or purple because I like pretty things), it was pretty fucking easy.
I don’t use it.
Right now, having an office outside my house – doesn’t align with my goals. And honestly, to tell you the truth, it never really did.
I literally want to be a no mad. Well, not exactly but I want FREEDOM. I don’t want to be tied to one place for my work. Period, there I said it. I want freedom to travel or work in my pajamas.
So why did I set up an office to begin with? Because I THOUGHT it would give me a professional look. I THOUGHT it would give me more clients. I THOUGHT it would be cool, quite frankly.
And it was, for a moment. But now, it’s become this check I write every month and this space I visit maybe once a week.
Did I fail? No. Did it feel like it? Kinda.
When I came back down to earth after the pros and cons and weighing on what I was feeling – it’s just an office space. If I feel like I want one again, I’ll find a new one. It’s not the only one in existence.
What I loved about it was the light and how bright it felt, and I added elements to make it feel inspiring. But you know what I love about my house? All the natural light that comes flowing in every day. And I’m literally choosing to be there every day.
So now, as I exit my formal office space and my house has shifted around in the last few months – that’s an entirely new blog in itself – I’m going to turn my formal living room that no one uses, into my office space.
A bright space to create and write and do my best work, AND become 100% virtual – to better align with my own personal goals.
Make this year when you stop just existing and start living as your most authentic self. Don’t be a prisoner of your past/choices – it was just a lesson, not a life sentence!
What are you wavering on?
All the paths I take each day, the unchartered territory I traverse – make me a better writer. Make me a better person.
We should all be failing more. People are who aren’t failing, aren’t pushing themselves out of their comfort zone.
Sending you so much love!💕
P.S. Are you up for a challenge? Make a list of things you failed. It’s not as depressing as it sounds. Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side write “fails” at the top – compile a list of the things you’ve failed at. On the right side – right “lessons” at the top. Do you get where I’m going? Ponder what you learned from each of those “fails”. It’ll give you new perspective on everything.
As always, I want to hear from you! Feel free to hit me up on social media, or reply to my email newsletters! ❤️