If you’re like me, you’ve felt this endless grind for months (or years) — but sometimes, it’s necessary for business growth. We’ve all whined about it, tried “doing less” (like that’s ever realistic as a solopreneur), and spent countless days with our heads down, powering through.
Not to say I don’t practice what I preach — I do take pockets of time for myself, but that damn list is always in front of me, and if I want to get somewhere, it’s not going anywhere until I do something about it.
The thing is, when we push ourselves consistently towards our goals, that’s when we see progress. But here’s the tricky part: finding the balance between grind and grieve.
Grieve?
Yep, you read that right. I recently dove into the notion that when we stand still, we’re grieving — and not just in the traditional sense.
Meditation and taking space are deeply connected with how we process emotional regulation, including grief. We can practice all the “feel good” techniques, but until we dig deeper, accessing our self-compassion, self-acceptance (and I mean REALLY accepting ourselves — not just talking about it), and truly connecting with the present moment, we’re missing the point.
Okay, what?
If you’ve spent most of your life in survival mode, ignoring your intuition, knowing deep down that you’ve reached your ceiling — it can be hard to recognize. We’ve been taught to brush aside uncomfortable emotions, that “yucky” feeling we get when we know we’re in the wrong space. So, we avoid those emotions. And sure, avoidance can be protective, but it also holds us back.
Anxiety is the result of excessive worry, fear, or unease about things that may or may not happen in the future. So, how do we know when to push ourselves and when to ease off?
Let’s face it, we all experience anxiety — it’s a part of life. But if we feel this anxious tension whether we’re going into a bad situation or something we know will be good for us (like starting a new class or going to an exciting event), how do we differentiate between “this is growth” and “this is something I should avoid”?
When you don’t know what to do — do nothing.
Wait. Clear your mind. The answer will come.
I know, I know — this might sound like total nonsense. You’re probably thinking, “But Laura, you’re always talking about taking action!” And sometimes, that’s the action: do nothing.
You need to truly quiet your mind. Take space for your head and body to synchronize. That’s where you’ll find clarity. That’s the safe space you’ve been searching for.
I hear this from my clients all the time: “I’m meditating, but it’s hard to relax. My mind is racing.” Or, “It’s not working — I’ve tried.”
A few things to remember:
- It’s a practice.
- It looks different for everyone.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s running, meditating in the traditional sense, going on a walk, taking a long drive, browsing a bookstore, or playing video games. The point is, you need to do something that brings you peace.
Think about it — what is that thing for you? The thing that brings you a sense of calm, even if it feels a little uncomfortable at first?
How do you know you’re doing it “correctly”? It will feel uncomfortable.
We’ve been conditioned to be “busy” — to hustle and grind and meet deadlines. Rest will feel noisy at first. We’re entering an unfamiliar space, and it takes time to quiet our minds. And not be checking our phone every five seconds.
Start with 5-10 minutes a day of doing absolutely nothing. Let yourself breathe through the discomfort. Rest is essential.
Change starts with admitting where we actually are.
Really look at yourself. We are not the roles other people think we are, nor are we the tasks we perform. Workaholism is a trap for many, especially in the entrepreneur community. It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of constant busyness — it’s a perfect excuse to avoid confronting where we really are in our lives.
Interrupting yourself all day long. Working on the task in front of you, jumping up from your desk to “do something else” — that’s avoidance.
When you’ve been conditioned not to feel your feelings, whether by society or because you’ve been taught you don’t deserve to, it’s time to break the cycle. Get uncomfortable.
What kind of life do you want to show up for? The kind that makes sense to everyone else or the one that makes sense to YOU?
When I finally let go of patterns of overwork and embraced the life I really wanted, that’s when the abundance showed up. Overflowing joy and happiness — every single day.
To be successful in business (and in life), you need to fall in love with the process of doing what you love. When you’re grinding non-stop, that’s not love. That’s a struggle. But when you’re present in the moment, appreciating even the tough parts — that’s when the magic happens.
There will always be challenges — that’s life. But reframing those challenges and letting go of the power they have over you is where the magic lies.
I was feeling so trapped in “winter” this January – it’s cold and I’ve got a book coming out and working on all the things. I was coming home at the end of the day and immediately putting on something comfortable, and diving back into it until I gave myself a reality check and stepped away.
Ebbs and flows of business also come with some considerable unpredictability (which is why I am so happy I keep lists, honestly). I found myself with some major space this week, thankfully brought to me by the universe. So, I made a commitment to myself to walk outside every day. I needed this so much right now, being out in nature really helps us slow down and connect with ourselves. When I take the time to slow down, those walks in the woods generate the creativity that makes me…me. I spent hours walking in the woods this week, in the snow – and it was fucking glorious.
Sometimes, we have no control over the workload that is presented to us, I do however – have control over what I accept.
I’ve had moments over the last year, the last six months, and even this month where I’ve had to pause. Every time, I’d ask myself, “What’s my next action?”
But sometimes — when you don’t know what to do — the best action is to do nothing.
Slow down. Feel it.
Xo,
Laura
