This one comes to you straight from the kitchen island leaning over a hot cup of coffee and my eggs beginning to get cold, because when the idea needs to be brought to life, you pause and let it happen…just like everything else.
I like that I’m different. In fact, I prefer to be different. Often, when the crowd is going in one direction, I’ll explore the opposite. I’ve never been the one to try to “fit in” and at times, that’s been more painful, I can assure you. Feel the pain, and settle into it – because what’s waiting on the other side…is nothing short of amazing.
I love my fucking life.
I spend a considerable amount of time between blog posts, manifesting my next thought. I’ve always been introspective. Deep. I was told I was “too much” from childhood through….now. Have you ever had so much to say…yet nothing all at once? Call is the equivalent of drafting that endless text asking for what you need for the 1,000,000th time…only to select all and delete because…you’re done.
The thing is, you’re never “too much” for the right people.
It’s way easier to go along with the crowd, even as a 44 year old mom. Let me try to keep up with the possessions of the person next me? No thanks. We spend so much of our youth trying to fit into some box that represents what? And now surrounded by so many adult children doing the same fucking thing.
I’m really lucky to be where I am right now. I’ve never heard “I love you” so much as I have in the last year. I never knew what that actually felt like…and none of it from a romantic relationship. Every day I attract more of the right people into my life – just being authentically me.
Let’s get weirder.
2026 has been the year I decided I no longer needed to suffer. I intentionally threw that shit in the ocean in January, and haven’t looked back.
My Chiron has and will always be…my worthiness and loving myself. I didn’t find that out until a few years ago…and man when I did, it made so much sense. It’s something that will continue to surface and I make my way through life…but I can feel the shift, and the guidance from above.
My last relationship almost broke me in so many ways. I remember navigating through and what started as someone who saw me for who I was (and a catalyst in my own growth) over time, crushed down consistently…until I walked away from that (and prior to that, my marriage) in the same altered state.
It didn’t happen overnight. It happened one day at a time, the wind taken out of my sails. “Harmless” comments about the way I approached things, my outlook on life, or questioned decisions I was already questioning myself.
All the things they said they loved about me, slowly over time became the things they hated most about me and I shrunk with every morsel.
And then….I vowed never to lose myself in another relationship. I vowed to find out who I was fully. To be so rooted in Laura that when (if) love was ever an option for me again, that I would enter that kinship myself and not be swayed to be someone else.
I believe that true love in any form should be reciprocal. I’ve had a deep belief in a love like no other ever since I can remember. Something big and real and flawed like it came right out of a novel.
My person looks at me with sweet admiration and kindness, and that never fades like it has in the past.
I’ve been dabbling into uncharted territories of myself for a few months…working with energy healers, trying things I never once thought of and it’s given me more insight than I ever thought was possible. Bringing things to the surface that I thought I had down, but hold up – here’s another layer.
I rooted into my throat chakra and made moves that I never thought I was capable of. I was met with the shell of a person I spent half of my life with last week, and in that grief – I decided it was time to continue this theme of 2026 and let go of those little pieces of me that have been scattered for years.
I burned my wedding dress.
All those years I spent asking for what I needed only to be met with the idea that I was “too much” or nothing was ever “good enough”. Asking for the very bare minimum – can have a ripple effect stronger than any love that still exists.
Eventually, you start to believe it.
This year I made the decision that I no longer need to suffer. Whether it be from past life choices, current life choices, guilt, or unworthiness.
I am worthy of deep devotion. I am ready to be chosen, every day, by someone who sees all of me and still wants more. My heart is open.
Here’s to new beginnings.
I am thinking of you, and sending you so much love.
XO
Laura
P.S. If you’ve been following along for a while and feel called to support the work I do here, you can send a little love via Venmo: @lferri28. Writing is free, coffee isn’t, and neither are teenagers.
