10 Years Later
I’ve been sharing coming back to myself. My life. My body. My stability.
When I think back to where this all started it feels like I’m floating above a dream. I remember writing that first blog. I remember the days/weeks/months leading up to it.
I recently had a conversation with someone about how when you’re creative you cannot force it. It must flow – and how as you’re about to pour out – as you’re simmering, about to boil until you release. And then it all starts to flow. It couldn’t be more vivid, or more true.
I can remember the overwhelming grief of the year prior. Going back to work full-time. Returning to school to begin laying my new foundation…and then discovering I was pregnant. And then all the twists, turns, and opportunities that then commenced.
And then the more.
The job I loved, changing…decaying right before my eyes. All the parts I loved and had worked so hard to get to. Now what?
The wanting more for myself. My family. My future. It didn’t go away.
I remember quite vividly when “My Inner Struggle” hit me – I was in bed with my lap top very late at night. I kept thinking about the more. Who the fuck was I? Where was I going? How was I going to find her again?
I just started writing.
That’s it. That’s all of it.
I promptly registered the domain name…and began building the website. At the time, I don’t think I had ever had so much focus and drive within me. I was already up feeding the baby anyway, why not create some content?
I remember writing that first blog – how emotional it was to be getting those words out of my head. Born in the woods on a trail that led right to where my mother spent her last days. Some of my best blogs were written on the trail. Pausing to pull up my phone and voice everything that was in my head. It felt so good.
And now, between finding my footing as a single mom and business owner – as I allowed myself to build my dream, I no longer write from a place of pain, but the joyous perspective after.
And when I posted my first blog, May 5, 2016 I began a whole new journey sharing it with a whole new world. I’ve received countless messages from many strangers expressing their gratitude for simply being myself – something that never happened in my old life.
When it began, I posted a new blog frequently. Almost daily sometimes. I would find myself on that same trail day after day exploding with emotion and creating a vision of a new life. It was my mission to share my story so that others would feel less alone in their own journey.
In 2025 I shared with you my own love story when I published my book “Is It An Open Bar?” – the very act of sharing it was movement itself.
It took me a little while to realize where I am right now is a new season of growth. It didn’t feel quite the same as it did 10 years ago, five years ago, three years ago, two years ago, six months ago.
I look forward to sharing this next level of growth and beyond.
Thank you for being here with me on this journey.
If you haven’t yet, check out the blog that started it all:
https://myinnerstruggle.com/it-feels-so-good-to-be-lost-in-the-right-direction/
XO,
Laura
