For as long as I can remember I always had this desire to go into hiding (somewhere, or nowhere) and come back different. Almost like this pause in life where I can step away for a quick change and then just slip back into reality – reinvented.
I have kids, and a house and a business I’m trying to build, so I guess the whole “going into hiding thing” wouldn’t exactly work.
When I was going through my divorce, and after…and even now watching Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert tells the tale of her year abroad finding herself. What a luxury to have the freedom (and financials) to be able to accomplish that. I went on to read the book Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It – which is a collection of stories of women who have attempted to do the same awe-inspiring reinvention post-divorce.
Both are great reads – check out my list:
https://myinnerstruggle.com/most-loved/
We all have the ability to “check out” in our own way, right now – regardless of our circumstances. Even if it’s for five minutes when we pull in the driveway after work. Find those pockets of time and think about what you want your life to look like.
Not everyone will stand behind your decisions or think you are doing the right thing – that’s okay! They can think whatever they want to, it’s not their life!
I went on little adventures of my own that did not involve an overnight, beautiful places I could drive to myself. Even just a walk out in the woods nearby. When we connect with nature – we connect with ourselves. It is such a beautiful thing.
I spent (like many of us) much of my younger years being a mom and filling all the cups of those around me. When I got divorced and I was on my own, I did not even know what I ACTUALLY liked to do for fun. When I started dating, was when I really figured that out.
You would be on a date and men would ask you (the better ones anyway) what you liked to do for fun, where do you spend your free time, what is your passion. I learned so much about myself and discovered those empty pockets that I needed to explore.
When you are asked the right questions, it will lead you into a place of self-exploration – a place I didn’t really push myself into all on my own. I think often, we tend to default to what we know. Which is one of the reasons I’ve worked with coaches before, and why I am so passionate about it.
I had a curiosity about my new “me” that I needed to explore. I knew I wanted to feel happy right down to my bones. I did not want to end up like my mom – I know that sounds harsh, but you’ll get it eventually.
People will make up their mind about you before you even open your mouth. Based on your appearance, but most of all – your body language and how you hold yourself. Are you standing confidently?
Sometimes I think about the separate roles I play in everyone else’s story. Some may see my personality as energetic and fun, inspiring, and others may think I’m just really annoying.
Everyone is looking through a different lens, with their own experience backing it up. I am an awful person in some people’s stories, and a savior in others.
I spent a lot of time looking inward. You never know what someone else is going through – and it’s so hard to tell from the outside the way you are being viewed. But that does not matter.
The way people view me may literally have nothing to do with the person I truly am. As I just said – they are looking through their own lens coming from a place with their own experiences, perceptions, and judgements.
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Some people may think I’m emotional and weak – others feel safe to be themselves around me.
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Some people may think I’m rude and selfish because I’m direct, and take time for myself – and others respect the way I stand up for myself.
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Some people admire my courage in the way I look or dress, and others may think I’m a hot mess.
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And none of it has to do with who I truly am as a person.
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What we need to understand is that we have no control over how people view us so never try to control the way others see you. The only thing that really matters at the end of the day is what you genuinely see in yourself when you look in the mirror.
This is what I love most about what I do, helping people find themselves…and most importantly beginning to love themselves. Life is too short to be spending your days unhappy, and it all starts within.
We all have toxic traits – none of us are perfect. Do we want to be better for ourselves for a better life experience, a better relationship with ourselves, and in turn all the relationships that surround us?
I am a better mom than I ever have been.
I am starting a self-love revolution; everyone should feel this good! As I said in my last post…
Coming out of a “messy season” – I am ready for
the most loving chapter of my life to begin.
Xoxo,
Laura
PS: I am trying to build a supportive community of women (and men) if you’re local to northern NJ – check out my Meetup group – Self Love Club
PPS: I am doing a little thing…. Please come check it out! RSVP via email to info@lauraferri.com
PPPS: Back to school reset – new schedules, activities, schedule something for yourself to get organized and on track for the new school year. Dip your toe in – I promise it’ll feel good!
Group sessions beginning!!
