I’ve been missing yoga, I haven’t been able to get there the past few weeks because of other commitments. It truly is my favorite day of the week, I really look forward to it. At the start of every class we set an intention, what is it you are looking to accomplish during this class. My own intention for tonight, was to walk out of yoga strong and confident. (Pretty sure I still hurt from Saturday’s workout and my abs are on fire from yesterday)
I never thought I’d be a yoga fan; I enjoy intensity. Spinning, running, aerobics, etc. It all changed for me just over a year ago when I began my meditation practice (thank you Amy). I now hold the tools to step back, take a breath and look at everything in a new light. Not that I don’t still lose my shit – because I do, just less.
I am a humble collection of experiences and conversations I have had from my own lifetime and of those before me – we all are. Strong. Happy. Healthy. Kind. (one of my favorites ❤️)
Setting my intention – to love myself.
If you’ve been reading my blog you know there’s a theme here; and if you haven’t go back to the beginning and catch up: https://myinnerstruggle.com/about/
I was a woman long before I was a mom, and I’m so much more than I ever was before.
From the very beginning I’ve talked about how being a “mom” doesn’t define me, yet it does. There aren’t many activities in my everyday life that don’t revolve in some way, shape, or form, around my children. Not that that’s a bad thing, I just want my own little something. A little escape from everyday life to call my own, this blog does it for me, working out or running, taking photos (having new fun with this).
This whole mom thing…I kind of lost myself for a very long time. Sometimes it takes everything being shaken up and turned upside down to begin again.
We all need a good book to get lost in, even if it takes you months to get through it (like me).
Every mom I know needs to read this, lose yourself a little. I laughed out loud while reading this more times than I can count. It’s gross, it’s funny, it’s uncomfortable; it’s real and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
“…The email ended up being an ad for a local pole dancing class which I deleted because it combined two things I hated; taking my clothes off in front of others and lifting my own body weight. But it did make me think. Of all the instances in life I was supposed to be sexy, I had assumed this whole time that motherhood would be one of the times I could tap out. To me, motherhood felt practical, like I was built for efficiency and snuggles and that’s it.”
“Looking back, I never thought of my mom as sexy. I thought of her as soft and familiar and low maintenance.”
“Good moms weren’t sexy moms. Good moms had snacks in their car and carried Vera Bradley bags covered in buttons with their kids’ sport photos on them.
This is a burden of responsibility and martyrdom that is placed solely on the shoulders of mothers. Pardon my feminism, but was Andy getting emails with tips for how to make fatherhood look sexier?”
“Maybe finding the balance between sexiness and motherhood was hard for me because I wasn’t confident with the sexy part to begin with, the line between the two was often blurred between screaming children and endless homework.”
“I needed that exact scenario applied to my body image journey. Someone I could call when it was way easier to mentally beat the shit out of myself than to like what I was seeing in the mirror. I’m talking about the person I call at 3AM when I’ve eaten everything there is to eat and everything inside me still feels empty and ugly, or when I don’t feel like I’m even worth being seen with.” (Ahem, you know who you are. Thank you)
I know some of those were harsh words, I have many friends that have had those same thoughts – and we’ve openly discussed it no less. I’ve been on this quest for as long as I can remember, I know I’m not alone. I finally feel like I’ve crossed this threshold; of acceptance. I am who I am, and I love myself – completely.
I don’t want my daughters to struggle like I always have. Life is far too short; take risks love with everything you have and make it beautiful. It’s my mission to raise strong, happy, confident, young ladies.
“Of all the hobbies I have picked up and dropped over the years – … body hate has been my most dedicated and refined. And now with the birth of just one tiny and beautiful girl, everything I knew about myself had changed.”
Life is far too short; take risks, love with everything you have, and make it beautiful. You are enough.
Strong. Sexy. Confident.
What’s your intention?