I was so busy for the month of September and the bulk of October that I was being led by my calendar. I woke up every day with a purpose, and I almost think I take better care of myself when I’m busy, as crazy as that sounds!
When I’m busy, everything is booked – including the time for myself. Coming off that super busy season, I was left exhausted both physically and mentally.
Sometimes when that happens, I can bounce back in a day or two and get right back on the tracks, other times it takes a little bit. There were a lot of things to consider and think about. What’s my next direction – are people engaged? Are they getting what they need from me? Are they getting what they want from me?
What do people want to hear? Know? See? We’re in a constant stage of transition, so you really must be able to pivot.
It’s okay to ask for help! Your mental health is SO IMPORTANT (I’ll say it again, and again, and again).
How are you showing up for yourself? What can you incorporate into your every day to feel better?
Sometimes, I need to leave my phone on a different floor in my house and take off my watch to not be distracted. This is a form of self-care. I know myself enough to know that I can go full squirrel mode, at any time.
This helps me focus on my task at hand – and the messages and calls can be returned when I complete my task. In a world of instant gratification and FOMO – this is something that works well for me.
I mentioned in my Wednesday Wellness newsletter (if you don’t subscribe…you should) – a few weeks back, the overwhelm of life was staring me right in the face.
As you know, I am a single mom with three kids, building my own business, which means I wear a lot of hats from sales and marketing, writing, creating content, and being present for my clients. Both my parents are gone, and I don’t have a lot of people I can turn to, to ask for help.
The overwhelm was building, and I didn’t really know who or what to ask for.
My oldest is applying to colleges, trying to keep her on track, build my business, manage money, a household, animals and make sure I spend enough time with each one of my littles – this is unchartered territory for me.
My ex-husband and I (and his new wife) have a great co-parenting relationship and for that I am extremely fortunate. Well, we weren’t where we are now, a few years ago I remember sending him a picture of an extended family with both sets of parents on either side of the children and I said – “this is what I want for us”. It took some time to get there, but I think we might be there.
After an evening with their dad, my kiddos came home and much to my dismay my oldest was in tears over her own overwhelm thinking about and executing her college applications. At the same time, I received a text message from her dad saying how he didn’t know what else to do either.
I knew at that moment – I can’t do this alone anymore. I made a bold and equally uncomfortable suggestion that we spend some time together so we can all talk. A few weeks prior, I broke down in tears on the phone feeling like a bad mom, and he was willing to help – so I knew he would be receptive.
Now – mind you, my ex-husband and I text regularly about what’s going on who’s bringing who, where, when, discussions on grades, etc.
I sat down at their table and nearly in tears, navigated my way through, explaining I needed help – but I didn’t know what with. I need support and I feel like I am doing this on my own (at the time).
I offered suggestions on how we could communicate better and more consistently with each other, and with them – and everyone was receptive.
It was a little uncomfortable in the beginning but the three of us parents sat down together over a glass of wine and hashed out what’s going on with each kid. The importance of being on the same page when addressing them later is so vital.
We are all on the same team.
The very next night, we spent some time with each kid, asking them what they needed, reassuring them we’re all in this together. By the end of the night, it was the six of us – myself, our three kiddos, my ex-husband, and his wife laughing and making jokes and plans for dinner.
I’m not sure I ever anticipated being in this position – but I have to say…being sick this week and the offers from them to do pick-ups, or an extra night at their house so I could rest in the morning makes me feel so incredibly grateful.
None of this would have happened in this moment, if I hadn’t just asked for help – and there they were, poised and ready to lend a hand.
I’ve been on my own for nearly five years, and there were so many times, I felt completely alone and that I was doing this all on my own. I am so grateful to everyone around me. The friends who listen when I feel overwhelmed, the ones who take the time to equally pour into my cup, as I do theirs.
2024 WILL BE THE YEAR OF ABUNDANCE – and I am so looking forward to it!
Thinking of you, and sending you love.
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