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Dating 2020 – caution: not for the easily offended! For those of you who do not know me well, or don’t read my blog, I write exactly how I talk.

This is mostly for your entertainment, somewhat true – which parts, I won’t reveal 藍

As I begin my 39th year – (single) I’d like to point the fact out that we’ve spent nearly a year in quarantine (like you didn’t already know that, duh). But let’s just take a moment to recognize those of us who didn’t have a partner all this time – and the conditions of trying to find said partner.

I haven’t been looking for a long time – staying in my own lane in hopes that what was meant to be, would fall right into my lap.

But how does one stumble upon a soulmate while we’re all walking around trying to avoid getting close to people?

I’ve been told (this is true!) “put on some eye makeup and a cute mask and roam the grocery store on Saturday night, I bet you’ll meet someone”.

I’ve met a lot of interesting people, been on more dates than I care to admit – and really liked 1 or 2. It’s an amazing feeling coming home at night after you’ve spent time with someone you enjoy, laughing and smiling so much your face hurts until you fall asleep (best feeling ever) – but those are few and far between.

So I’ve decided to venture the online dating world again (check back in two days, I may have changed my mind again).

What’s in a profile? How can you sum yourself up in 200 words or less? How do I sell myself when I really think that the right person will see how amazing I am and not hesitate to pursue me?

Do I mention my love for sex and intimacy in sentence one, or two? That I’m not sure I ever want to get married again, but I definitely don’t want to be alone?

That I love long walks in Home Depot? That I can easily find fun in just about any activity?

Or how about my love for “the dad bod”? I’m an excellent cook, and if you’ve had a bad day, I’ll make you smile.

I’ve been told maybe I shouldn’t be so independent – that might scare men away. But I can’t help it, I’m used to doing things for myself – I always have been. Don’t get me wrong, I could use some help changing my water filter and climbing ladders – do I include that?!

I know exactly what I want. The epitome of connection. Affection. Eye contact. Someone who wonders how my day went.

I don’t ask for much. Just love me, (and feed me – I’m basically a puppy) – just don’t be looking for something better while I’m standing right in front of you, investing my time, in you. I’m not willing to compete.

I’m the master of inappropriate jokes – at all the appropriate times.

I have a really great job I love, want to go back to school in the very near future, have a very busy life, and three absolutely amazing kids.

Is there someone I can call when I just need to hear another voice? Flirt with me, tell me a dirty joke so I can laugh off my stress, and get back to work?

You will never have to guess if I care or not.

There are never enough characters.

Covid sucks. Cheers to all of you who have found someone to be silly with, be grateful for what’s in front of you. And to my single friends (I don’t have too many) – see you on Tinder? 藍路‍♀️