F*&k that voice
At any given point you have the option to change the future that lies before you. It’ll get messy and uncomfortable, but there is nothing worse staying in a place you don’t feel like you belong in to avoid “being uncomfortable” for a little while.
I lost my light somewhere. Those of us who chose to do so, we are continually evolving, and it’s those like-minded souls that I am most attracted to. There is nothing better than connecting with someone, in conversation, and both walking away better people. What prevents someone from saying how they really feel? Fear. What makes a person incapable of change, or saying what’s really on their mind? Fear. What are you afraid of? Forget what can go wrong, there’s so much that could go right if you could just get out of your box.
I am doing what feels right in the moment. Fuck that voice, the voice that tells me I’m unworthy. For years it’s been speaking to me, and I wondered why I felt that way, why everyone else around me didn’t seem affected by it. It all makes sense now and it’s no longer “am I good enough?” it’s “is it good enough for me?”.
Your life is made up of these tiny daily rituals whether you realize it or not. You wake up, roll over grab your phone. Maybe you check texts, or Facebook or any other social media you are chained to. Maybe you spring right out of bed and wash your face, turn on the coffee pot, let the dog out. Then on to the next task.
Maybe it’s time to decide which rituals really get you closer to where you want to be. Checking your phone, watching what everyone else is doing, all takes time, energy. I’m guilty of it, most people I know are guilty of it. That energy that could be put towards building something wonderful. Potential to bring you joy, happiness, and memories.
I stepped away this weekend and really needed it. I almost didn’t go; I could’ve just as easily stayed home to work through and process the past week but I needed to forage for myself. My divorce was final. That’s it, that chapter of my life is over and while I am excited for my next chapter, I’m sad. That feeling of not good enough from above, it’s sitting right there. So now, I breathe. I breathe, and I focus on what lies ahead. Building my own future through the tears, and possibility.
Doing what feels right in any moment and loving it all. It changes day by day and I’m the one who gets to decide.
I am working on becoming more fluid. It’s a challenge for sure. Sometimes I struggle to keep going. I’d like to run around collecting the pieces of my heart that I’ve given away. Sometimes you wonder why you put so much into other people. It’s who I am. I’m an empath and I really feel when things change. Slowly but surely, I’m learning that just because someone fades away, someone who you may have talked to nearly every day, shared life with fades away, it’s ok. It’s sad. But it’s just part of the process. And if it’s intentional than it’s for the best. My value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see my worth. I am worthy, of so much more.
Were always so quick to judge ourselves about all that we are doing wrong – what about all the things we’re doing right. This is the start of something reeeeeally good! Breath deep and let it all in. So open for this new opportunity at life, love, and truly grateful for every single day.
“You are amazing mama” – Evelyn