If you’ve been following me, it’s not a shock to know that I want a partner to share my life with, to grow with.
I had a friend that told me as soon as I was comfortable being alone, that is when he would step into my life. And all the while, I don’t mind being alone, but I prefer people – I’m a social person. I am an extroverted introvert…or an introverted, extrovert, whichever is cuter.
I reached that level of being comfortable on my own long ago and I had envisioned it like this magical threshold I would cross through. Like when they open the door on Love is Blind, and there sitting on the other side is your soulmate. Still waiting on the damn door.
The Allure of Different Ages
Men fascinate me. Not just in the conventional romantic way, but their psyche, their motivations, and their perspectives. And before you jump to conclusions, it’s not all about what happens behind closed doors.
I’ve been fortunate to interact with hundreds of men from different walks of life, courtesy of working in a male-dominated field, and I’ve developed friendships with many men. These interactions have ranged from solving workplace challenges together to discussing personal dilemmas. So much so, I often joke and have been dubbed the “wife whisperer”.
Navigating the Dating Landscape
The world of dating is both perplexing and thrilling. Time and again, my dates have turned into therapy sessions. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told, “you’re just so easy to talk to.”
Online dating further amplifies this dynamic. The sheer volume of potential partners is both its strength and its pitfall. While the initial conversations often start with mundane questions, it doesn’t take long to plunge into deeper discussions.
These diverse dating experiences have contributed to my own personal growth, as well as a window into another dimension…. the male brain.
Maybe dating younger men has rejuvenated certain aspects of your life, while those your age have offered a sense of familiarity and comfort.
Recently, I’ve noticed an interesting trend. Younger men seem increasingly interested in dating women in their 40s. When I query them, trying to decipher the allure (with a dash of flirtiness, of course), a consistent theme emerges. These men appreciate the clarity and confidence that comes with experience. There’s a perception that older women are straightforward about their desires and less inclined towards mind games.
I used to wonder what a younger man might see in someone my age, beyond perhaps a stereotype about libido. But maybe it’s the refreshing perspective they bring — one that’s not yet jaded or weary from the vicissitudes of life.
As women, there’s no need to feel any stigma or shame about dating someone younger. Their perspective can be rejuvenating, seeing us in a light that peers of our own age, might not.
Challenges with Same Age Dating – on the other hand, dating men my age or older feels like familiar territory. They sometimes come across as more settled or perhaps too rooted in their ways. They often emanate a vibe of self-sufficiency, giving the impression that they don’t truly ‘need’ anyone. It’s possible that past failed relationships might have dented their confidence, making them more guarded.
The Key to Successful Dating – According to Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry often nitpicked small details about his dates, leading him to break up with them for seemingly trivial reasons. For instance, in one episode, he becomes obsessed over the fact that a woman he’s dating has “man hands.” – We’ll refer to this as “over analysis”.
Jerry frequently showed hesitancy towards settling down or making long-term commitments. He had many short-lived relationships throughout the series, and the reasons for their endings were often comedic – commitment issues.
True to Seinfeld’s stand-up comedic style, his character often remarked on the quirks and unspoken rules of dating. He would comment on anything from the awkwardness of the first kiss to the implications of the phrase “we need to talk.” We’ll get back to this one – in real life scenarios…the reaction to this, is pretty crucial!
The “Unwritten Rules”: Many episodes revolved around the “do’s” and “don’ts” of dating. For example, Jerry and his friends would debate topics like how long one should wait to call after getting someone’s number, or the etiquette of breaking up with someone.
Overall, while Jerry Seinfeld’s character approached dating with a comedic lens, highlighting its idiosyncrasies and absurdities, he also portrayed some of the genuine complexities and uncertainties that many people face in their dating lives.
But stripping away the humor, the message is clear: showing up genuinely, being proactive, and backing words with actions are paramount. Whether you’re a man or a woman, these are the timeless principles that make a difference.
We all deserve a partner who would cross oceans to be with us. Knowing you deserve more is the first step – deciding to not settle for less than you deserve (the action) is the hardest step.
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of all the things that could go wrong…or all the things that could go right?
I read something recently (and I’ve mentioned it) – that the feeling we may be having isn’t always about missing the person…but the fact that we may feel like we meant nothing. For me, it’s both and my heart has been breaking for far too long.
I need to heal and let go.
I am stepping into my new self just like unzipping my suit and stepping right out of it…you know without tripping over on one foot while I’m doing it.
I am committing the next six months to myself, my own personal growth, my health, and my business – period.
I have enough tasks and things to do both at home and in my business that got neglected during my most recent “great depression”. While I love what I do, building my own business has its stressors and all the while I was holding so dearly on to a relationship but hurting myself in the process. There are a lot of brave faces, and it’s all around us. We all have our stuff.
So, I pose the same question to you – what if YOU committed to yourself for the next six months. Just stopped with your own bullshit – focused inward. Felt ALL THE FEELS. Where would you be? What would it look like?
Thinking of you, and sending you love.
P.S. I am working on some new and VERY EXCITING projects with the great Raj Trivedi! STAY TUNED!
P.P.S. If you’re ready to start your own journey with me – please reach out!
I’m here for you!